A Dispatch from the SPAM War - This 8-Bit Life
So my blog seems to be assailed as of late by a spammer of unknown origin. We do battle on the field on a daily basis. They post a spam ad in my comments, I remove and report it. Tête à tête. I would like to take this moment to mention that I hope one day Spamming becomes a crime punishable by death in all countries. Indeed if I could I would hunt this person (persons?) like the purple buffalo. As a side note I have been waiting years to make a reference like that to The Neverending Story. But enough of my reminiscence of childhood tales! It is time for man’s work! And by man’s work I mean bitch online in my own echo chamber.
My tribe and I would feast upon the foul beast’s soppy insides, fat from grazing the fallow land. I would use his hide to wrap my body and shield myself from the harsh winter of the Intertubes. But would I pray in reverence to his spirit and thank him for his life force that I was so willing to consume? NO. For he is an undeserving beast, filthy, rutting in his own mire and muck of knock off sunglass ads and cross site scripting links! In short I wish this spammer would die an undignified death only to be eaten and used as tools to kill more of his brethren.
I will build an empire of hate upon the bones of their number! I shall sit upon a throne of spammer clavicles and femurs! My spiteful empire shall grow, my fortress rising as a black spire into to sky, defying the gods themselves for creating such horrid creatures! After I have cleansed this planet of their ilk and my bio engineered carrion monkeys have plucked the eyes from their heads for snack time, I will dismantle all that I have wrought with my righteous hate. I will return the world to its former beauty and all will be well. But my Throne of Bones will stand, defended by my descendants as a monument in memoriam. A beacon of dark light ready to shine on the wicked who would pollute the internet with their dick pill ads and burn them asunder for their sin!